生活。自由。知足

告别学生生涯将近两年了
昨天感觉好遥远
远的，好像不是时间
而是生活方式。。。

我大剌剌的说“不会想念澳洲！”的画面如今记忆犹新
我应该说“我应该不会想念澳洲！”
至少反悔时有个台阶
我大声向世界宣布“我要回家！”时
心中还带着股类似拯救世界的热忱
热忱仍在，但社会也狠狠地让我上了一堂课
如今，“我要回家！”仍然是我那股傻劲的动力
因为，我还没有回到家！
我的家，要有家人。

想念澳洲
倒不如说，我想念那生活方式
不能说那时无忧无虑，而是犯贱把忧虑往身上扛
生活很简单，很开心，节奏很舒服
当然，我也想念留在那里的右膝盖十字韧带
当时我自由吗？我想想，等下再回答。
我知足吗？不是时时刻刻。

如今成为上班族
生活基本上过得去
生活过得杠好！
有烦恼吗？我没有。
生活困苦？拜托。想被雷劈啊？
知足吗？开玩笑，没得嫌了啦。
自由？其实我这条鱼，不属于鱼缸

以前没有办法理解的事情
如今答案有了新的清晰度
人老了，高度也得往脑里长吧
很多事情其实没有表面看起来那么简单
这是很多“智者”尝试告诉你的
但是，人不跌到就没机会学爬起来
与其无知地暗地里批评别人的决定
我学会看得更深入，先了解再回复
人嘛，其实不必每一次都对
这个社会，自我主义暗地里泛滥
良心偶尔才拿出来用就行了
世俗，很少被道德限制了
上面这三句说得蛮狠的，有点绝
就告诉自己，做多数的那一派
还好我们还有很多“有关当局”和好人
世界上大多数还是好人
只是不怎么好的人说话比较大声
当你觉得这个世界变了样，安慰自己
瑕疵这两个字看起来那么复杂是有原因的
如果人不喜欢放大污点，就不会花心思研究那么难写的字了

有点离题-.-'''

对，我不属于鱼缸，我想其实大家都不属于
只是，我们都需要勇气
自由是不被定义和文字局限的
自由是个感觉
一种因人而异的感觉
当你觉得自由时，其实这个世界没有什么黑暗魔力可以把你打倒
对我来说，自由是快乐的来源
他不必被寻找，他就在你心里
也许囚犯不自由？也许奴隶不自由？
但饥饿孩童没有丧失快乐的权利
Nick Vujicic根本没有右膝盖十字韧带来给他弄断
也许我会常觉得打工是种约束
但很多时候，这个约束能够让我会心一笑
如果约束有好坏，这是个好的，我尽情享受

我想，如果你曾经说过要拯救世界
就应该知道超人的苦衷
他为世上错误的决定负责任，丢下自己原本不需要丢下的
电影教会我们，英雄是因牺牲而得其名的
当世界爱你时，其实他们一个个更爱他们自己
但是如果你能够超越爱的界限，你将改变世界
change the world
请提醒自己

我。其实很自由。
以前是，现在也是。

Artist Wannabe

Found a new piece of "oasis" in my life..
Drawing with computer (i.e. computer art) has recently become quite an enjoyable thing for me
Not because company continuously came up with different events and competitions asking for artwork, but I just found myself really drawn to making a nice piece of art and actually enjoying the process of drawing them

I've never been good in art, however do have a sense of knowing just exactly what I appreciate as a "nice" artwork
That being said, my works are no where near "nice" yet!

Put one of them here!
This is my entry for Humanity Poster exhibited in SHBC 2013

What is time, and why are we running with it?

Living in a fast pace environment
When walking slow on the street seems like a crime
When slow people have to be tolerated by the fast ones
When fast and high speed seem like what most people are worshipping

Walking past so many souls on the street
Fast pacing towards our next destination
Showing up annoyed faces when the word 'wait' shows up
Stepping on that accelerator like your grandpa owns a gas station
(I have to agree to the thrill of it for this particular case)

We power through our life swiftly
Day in and out
We are afraid of missing out in this modern society
We thrift to be the first to inform and informed
Out-dated is not a compliment for you-being-a-relax-individual

We do it so habitually
So habitually that we think when we sleep the time stops
And every eye opening moment together with sunrise mark a start for yet another race, a race where we do not really think about the finish line

When was the last time you walk slowly and not to worry about blocking people behind you (as a very conscious walker, walking on the busy streets is quite stressful to me, subconsciously)

An incident today at the train station inspired this blog

"As usual, passengers boarding the train are to wait for the alighting passengers to exit before proceeding..I queued up behind a young man, and waited to get up the train just like everybody else.

Train doors open, a white cane came out of the door after many legs as I was looking down. A man with impaired vision was trying to avoid the platform gap and walk out of the train, despite the squeezing and blocking. Obviously he was having a hard time, and didn't expect a help, so he didn't ask for help.

The young man, without hesitation, grabbed the man's hand and asked "Going downstairs, Sir?" And then he guided him down, missed his train, apparently."

I secretly admired and prayed for that young man, hoping that our society doesn't and won't change him.

Whose time is more important? Or is there a difference, at all?
Or it's more about quality, actually?

One Room Flat

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jiuhukia/60268008/

What does One-Room flat lead you to think about?

Does the words "Studio", "SOHO" and "Bachelor's hideout" came into your mind?

How about not so stylish and luxurious?

One room flat is really no room no living room flat, plain, no sparkles...

Last night I stepped foot on the part of Singapore where I thought I'd never stepped on

Singapore's HDB one room flat, the one that you normally watch on TV, whereby some kind-hearted characters in the local drama do their visits to the old folks who live by themselves

The dark and uneventful corridor, with blue coloured wooden doors shut and thick dust built up on the electricity meter right in front of each household

For one moment, my mind stunned and wonder off, I felt my feet shaking as if I'm follow by a cameraman who furiously and attentively filming every single moment of this 'adventure'

"NO", I reminded myself.

Looking down to the bagful of ziplock bags with packet oats and sardines cans, I dragged myself back to work

Initiated by our lifegroup, we were out and about at Jln Besar, ready to make a change, without anyone that has done it before

Yeap, bunch of noobs, trying to bring rainbowSSS into every household in this very quiet corner of Singapore

But with guidance and courage from up above, we acted out as if we were pro and just to carry on the hard earned conversations that we fearlessly conducted and initiated by knocking hard on the wooden doors

It turned out, we didn't really do much talking, we did listening, though...

Most of the time, we stayed silent and listen, to the simple words that needed a company for so long, so long

And then, I walked into my comfy room at home

I slept very well last night, knowing the fact the I should be able to find comfort, very easily...

20 things you need to do in your 20s

Nothing more to say, just read this:

http://elitedaily.com/life/20-things-you-need-to-do-in-your-20s/

I'm a Malaysian

1988

I arrived into this world, destined to be a Malaysian

Rather lucky, I was not exposed to taste the bitterness of fighting to stay alive thanks to my parents
So to me, Malaysia is indeed a good place to live in, all along

Like many others, I aced the Moral exams every single time during my 6 years of primary education. As the exams tested our consciences and tested our ability to differentiate right from wrong. And quite frankly I must say, all of us during that age, already possessed simple conscience and ability to differentiate right from wrong, with little struggle.

As for myself, I took in whatever our moral teacher taught us as soon as I think the moral values made sense and do no harm to others. I'm fortunate to have to ability to decipher, and to really practise my values and beliefs without obvious hindrance by others.

And till this very day, I think this subject "Moral" in school have made an impact in my life and is here to stay, and I practise the moral values as best as I can everyday.

To love your country, to respect the elders, look for your happiness by helping others, to not differentiate people by skin colour and ethnicity, to be proud being a Malaysian as three major races can live happily under the roof...and the list goes on and on and on...

And yes, I am and will always be proud as a Malaysian

As I grew older, topics about politics and happenings appeared in the newspaper never failed to widen the gap between my love towards Malaysia and my government.

I guess this statement resonates in a lot of you, "I love my country Malaysia, but I wished for a better government to help my motherland reaches her full potential"

How I wished, for several times in my life, to have the ability to make Malaysia better, in a big big way. Limited by my pathetic knowledge in politics and current happenings, I chose not to play a fool of myself. So I kept quiet, and continue to love my country, in my own sweet world...

Racial remarks and issues, whether you like it or not, will not die anytime soon. Prejudice based on previous encounters and skin colour differentiation is way too common, it made me sad and disappointed whenever I hear such remarks. To be fair, as a Chinese Malaysian, I hear more hurtful and disgusting comments towards other races than my own. And yes, it is totally discouraging and awful, to hear such remarks arrowed towards specific people of other races that most of the time have not done anything wrong but to bear the burden of other Malaysian, who might not be well liked, by many other Malaysians, after all.

And now, after graduation, I chose not to stay in Australia but to come back, only nearer but not back to my home country to work, in Singapore. The entire thought process that led up to this decision is complicated and personal, and I admit at the beginning, I see it as a decision that has no love to Malaysia. Instead of contributing to the healthcare system in Malaysia, I planted my foot in Singapore and gave my very best over here and will continue to give as long as I'm here. Only to realise the existence of a bigger love, love for people, just like moral taught me. But eventually, someday in the future, I hope to be able to contribute in a bigger scale for Malaysia, to help achieve its full potential with the abundant resources. Quite frankly, healthcare system in Singapore is no lack of talents from Malaysia, and many of them are "big shots" in many healthcare institutions and work just as hard as any other Singaporean here. And reality never failed to strike me so hard whenever I detected a slight Malaysian accent from them, that is when my imagination ran wild, thinking that how Malaysia would be better with all the talents back at home. But why, they are not back at home, often left me speechless...

To cut it short, as I realised I have spilled lots of words into this long lost blog of mine. I was deeply touched by the tremendous amount of support and love that people gave to Malaysia. And regardless of the results, we, Malaysian who hoped for a better future has won it altogether, as we will carry on with the spirit and live it in our daily life, just like how moral has taught us in school.

Next turn in life? Choice is yours

Blessed enough...

30/3/2013
Hope Singapore's Easter Service The Greatest Day
Theme based on "The Greatest Day" in mankind history
Easter Day, celebrated by 33.3% of the world population in the world, as described by CIA
What does it really mean to us?

Everybody has their very own greatest day
Greatest day, made up of future hope, past happiness, looking forward, achievements, reaching the impossibles, conquering the tough...

My greatest day, that day I played the best basketball game in my life, that day my prayers were answered, that day I realised that I'm puny.
I cried, amazed by amount of attention been paid to me, by someone who I've just talked to the first time and will never see in my lifetime.
Touched. Period.

How much more it takes to touch you?
Then to see different lives being touched in so many different ways
People of your own age
Holding cardboards saying how their life before has been, and on the back tells you how great it is now

The cardboards, built up my tears bombs, and then exploded in my face

"Suicidal, find no hope in life"

*flip

"Happy, enjoy my life just because I breathe"

(that's it, I shed tears..)

"Skeptical, only believes in science"

*flip

"Science points to God, lucky I've found truth"

"People pleasing, but it's never enough"

*flip

"I find peace in pleasing the one and only one"

"I bitch around just to fit in"

*flip

"I speak kind words, to encourage"

You see people's life changed, right in front of you, knowing that they can only tell the truth
What's more touching than that?
Free-will, what is given to us.
Choices, we make in life thru free will.
Destination, defined by choices.
Happiness, ultimate destination...

不会轻易让自己投降

我有一股力量

還隱藏在身體的某一端

隻有自己才能將它點燃

身旁的人隻能袖手旁觀

如果倒下是犯錯的下場

我會用堅強重新把自己武裝

有一些眼光或許看我不爽

我絕不會輕易讓自己投降

我不是你們說的壞孩子

請不要就這樣就把我看死

雖然我曾誤闖黑暗迷失

那絕對不是我最後的日子

我不是你們說的壞孩子

請不要隨隨便便把我看死

沒有看到我最後的衝刺

你怎麼知道我不能夠

和我真正的價值

The End of Pre-Reg

After absence for almost 1 whole year

Coming back, trying to recall and write

2012, busy much?

Yea I guess so

For most part of the year my life was filled by studies and of course, work

In order to pass 2 of the possibly most important exams of my life

Never had worked so hard on studies all my life

Don't know where I've got this determination from

Nevertheless, I passed both of them!

Unofficially practising as a Pharmacist now! :)

Thank God!

So...

Going from: studying non-stop after work till sleep at night

To: NO studying non-stop after work till sleep at night

I guess I can start to understand the mind of workaholic

Like a locomotor, constantly occupied had been a routine in life

I must admit that it wasn't easy to stop that motion

However, with Denise's ideal laid back lifestyle and her degree in Relaxation

I slowly learn to relax and slow down

In fact, my new year's resolution:

Patience

To slow down and look at the world sometimes

When asked, Adelaide or Singapore?

I can't really answer that question well

A-town, was basically relaxation plus a bit of studying for me

Singapore, a city that is so much more happening, and supposedly more things to do

I found it easier to do more things in A-town instead

Of course, the comfy living environment that my parents had provided for me in Aussie kinda spoilt me

Was reluctant to accept my current living condition, very reluctant, at some stage I was hating it

I complained, I mumbled my disapprovals, I felt sad for myself...

I even relate my failure in life to it...

IM A SPOILT BRAT!!!

Oh well, 雨过总会天晴, I must deal with my emotions in the end

By fate, I was placed in Toa Payoh Polyclinic Pharmacy

The demographics of our patients is interesting

And inspiring for a spoilt brat like me

Almost everyday of dispensing is like a life lesson to me

Interacting with our elderly population, you can't help but to smell the bitterness of their life every time they walk over to the payment counter after telling you how expensive are the colourful tablets that they had to buy to keep them alive

At times, I had tears running round in my eyes

But I felt so helpless as much as they do, I don't know what else I could do to help them even more...

Everytime I feel helpless, it just planted yet another seed in me, to work hard to change that situation that I can't do nothing about at this stage of my life

So, coming back to this spoilt brat

I realised how fortunate I am, as always, needs reminding

Slowly, I stopped looking for people to move in and replace me

I bought equipments to clean up the house

I organise my little corner and make it as clean

I still refuse to cook though :P

I'm blessed, truly blessed with all the people God put into my life this year in this new place

I've got an amazing preceptor, Ms. Anna Liew, she totally set a perfect example of how a pharmacist and teacher should be like to me

I've got awesome colleagues from TPY Pharmacy!

I've got great Jedi One brothers and sisters to share my life with frankly without any worries at all (although I had not been an obedient one, but they never gave me up, just like the one above!)

I've got the best family ever, dad and mum still are dad and mum that I came to know Day 1 of my life (of course, a fat and cute sister)

I've got a cute girlfriend too! Without her my life in sg would be a hell of a lot dull (No movie partner, no dinner companion, no shopping mate, no people to kacau, no soulmate!)

I know, I know...the ACL tear

Already a year, and I still can't play properly

Yeap, all my fault, I've got no patience

I rushed back to the court too quickly

I get hospitalised the second time

And it feels like an old man's leg now

Or maybe, it has already gone tad better after the PRP injection

Who knows?

I do know, I just have to be a good boy until it's time

I'm scared, and sad

Basketball, I just wanna play you once again, pain-free and worries-free

Will I ever get this chance? I'm only 25

Bought a new car

Bought a new house (not seen it personally yet, haha)

Life ahead...

Ohyea, the world didn't end in 2012...so...

Continue to learn in 2013

Pick up and brush up a few more characters of Jesus

Travel around more!

Be a good boy to everybody!

Learn to give more, take less

Lastly but surely, be happy :)