Rest in peace...Mr. 'Toh'...

Mr. 'Toh', who I used to call him...
was my English tuition teacher, when I was small, during my primary school years...
standard 1, standard 2...when I was 7 and 8 years old...
He is truly one of the tuition teacher that I will never forget in my whole life...
He means a lot to me...as he gave me this special name...John...

Now...he has rest in peace...
he passed away...unpainfully and gracefully...sitting on his living room chair...
I heard this news from my mum...
I was like...oh my god...I am still to visit him, but kept delay and delay...
till now...I will never get the chance anymore, to let him see how a small John had grown up to become...
I am truly...sad......

there is a story between us two...
he is just like my mentor, when I was that age...I looked up on him...
and I respect him...as a tuition teacher...
he came up to my house and picked me up, as he was doing the driver service during that time as well...a whole package of tuition...
I always listened to the song that he always played in his car...
"I'll be missing you" by Sting & The Police...
I wondered if he loves that song...I didn't ask him...
But I can link this song to him, whenever I hear this song...I'll think of him...
And I just couldn't know why...I have some kind of secret and special bond with him...
he treated me as he treated his grandson...
he gave me a name...that I'm still using now...John...obviously...
Many people would think that this name sounds old and uncool...
I even thought about that before as well, but I insisted on using this name...as it's unique...
to me...
for sure, I'll still use this name...for the rest of my life...

whenever we did well in our school exams...
he would offer those who did well a little story book...
which I heard from somebody...he used to own a bookshop...in UK or US...I'm not sure
the thing that I'm sure is that his house is full of books...
and I even wondered if what would happened if he had given all his book away...
My main goal that time was to get the biggest book...
THE CHRISTMAS BOOK
all the time...that has been my dream book ever...
throughout the days...
I couldn't manage to get that book...as I heard 'rumours' from my fellow friends...
that this book would only be given when someone is graduating from primary school and never comes back to tuition again...
then...
I got the book from him...
when I was about to leave from JB to Batu Pahat...
he wrote a lot in the big book that I would ever dreamt of...
obviously...encouraging words...
it's still with me...all those little story books are still with me...
and I won't ever...lost it...won't...
it's part of our memories...

his disappearance...knocked me...a hard one...
something...u jus can't wait...it will just fade away...
I still have a pair of tuition teachers who I really want to thank...
I made a promise to myself...that I'm going to look for them...once I'm back in Malaysia...
I'm not going to miss another chance anymore...go away oblivious John...
can't just let the ideas negate again...
I can't afford it...
I'm very sad, very very sad...
it's just...insurmountable...

I won't forget you...
I thank you for teaching me english...
I thank you for my achievement today...
I thank you for giving 'John' as my name...
I thank you for your cute booksSSS...
everything you have done...fully engrained...in my memory...

this passage, tribute of him...my beloved tuition teacher~
rest in peace...Mr. 'Toh'...
I will be a good boy...promise......